The Jeff Booth Show

Internet Radio with Pictures

Show Transcripts

December 23rd, 2007

You can contact us at:

Jeff@eroticuniversity.com

(818) 613-9248

Political News

Republican presidential long shot Tom Tancredo has dropped from the race. His major issue was a hatred of immigrants. He claimed illegal immigrants come to this country and are pushing drugs, raping kids, and destroying lives. How they find time to do that while standing in front of Home Depot as day laborers went unexplained. Tom Tancredo, we hardly knew you, which is why we don’t feel quite as dirty.

As a politician, a past is a terrible thing to have. No matter how fast you run, it catches up with you. And the idiotic things Mike Huckabee has said are easily sprinting towards him and becoming an unwanted part of his campaign. The latest revelations:  1992 “homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk.” 1998: in his book, Kids Who Kill, he opposed “publicly endorsed and institutionally supported aberrations–from homosexuality and pedophilia to sadomasochism and necrophilia.” 1998, Huckabee supported banning gay men and women from acting as foster parents because “it is not in the best interest of children.” 1997: Huckabee requested an amendment to a state Senate bill stating “that it is Arkansas public policy to prohibit sodomy to protect the traditional family structure.” I have a slogan for this anti-sex religious theocratic whacko for 2008 - Fuck Huck.

Bush threatens a veto, so the Democrats in Congress run with their tails between their legs and back off of important legislation. I don’t get it. Make Bush veto this stuff. Make it clear what he and his Republican sycophants are doing. They did it again this week with legislation that would have ended the global gag rule, a moronic prohibition against giving U.S. money to any organization that even mentions the word abortion. Which pretty much eliminates the organizations that do a good job and know what they are doing. Under this rule, we can’t even provide condoms. So U.S. money continues to flow to groups that promote abstinence, and the AIDS crises in Africa and other parts of the world gets worse and more women die. Its an absolutist view, and Congress should have stood up to the president. Instead, it they keep rolling over for a belly scratch.

Gays have been getting married in Massachusetts. But if they move to Rhode Island, there is one important right they won’t have. The right to get divorced. The Supreme Court ruled there that family court could not grant a divorce, because when the law was written in 1962 no one thought of marriage other than between members of the opposite sex. Despite the fact that the definition is a little more flexible 45 years later. In order to get a divorce, one of the couple will have to move to Massachusetts and live there for a year to establish residency, something neither of them wants to do.  I was kind of assuming that if you were against gay marriage, you’d be all for gay divorce, since that would mean one less gay marriage. But apparently not. We won’t be seeing any gay divorcees in Rhode Island.

You’ve seen it a million times on television on police procedural dramas. A woman is raped, there is a forensic exam, and they use that evidence to nab the rapist. I had no idea that women were then billed for the exam. As much as $2000 in Wisconsin. I don’t know about other states. But that won’t be the case any longer in Wisconsin. They have allocated funding to pay for these exams. And I’d give them a big thumbs up for doing this, except that I am still dumbstruck by the notion that they were billing women for exams in the first place. And next week, the state Assembly is expected to vote on a Compassionate Care for Rape Victims Bill that would require Wisconsin hospitals to offer emergency contraceptives. The state Senate has already passed the bill. And the fact that hospitals were not offering emergency contraception is also stunning. Except I know that many hospitals across the country don’t. And how do you promote such a legislative achievement. Come to Wisconsin, now a more humane state to be raped in? That laws like this are not already in place everywhere is a travesty.

You buy a convenience store in a small town in Kansas. In the back in a storage area are old DVDs. Some are sexually explicit. You never put them out publicly, and only rent them when someone specifically asks if you have any DVDs to rent. You’ve never even really looked at them. But when a task force targets your convenience store, you are arrested and indicted on obscenity charges for having a movie called the Babysitter #18. The prosecutors agreed to drop the charges when the owner agreed to get rid of the DVD. Which makes common sense except it should never have gone to a grand jury indictment in the first place over something so trivial. The obscenity case against the Spirit Halloween store for selling allegedly obscene costumes was also dropped. Dropped or not, these cases cost everyone, prosecutor and defendant, a lot of money. And there are two more obscenity cases pending. Why would they even bother with these nonsense cases? Because the district attorney has no choice. Kansas is one of a handful of states that allow a grand jury to be seated through a citizen petition process. And the local chapter of the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families has been busily gathering signatures to harass any business that even remotely offends them. They also gathered enough signatures to force a grand jury to investigate the local planned parenthood chapter. So when Dorothy said  “Toto, I’ve got a feeling were in Kansas any more”, her first clue may have been that while the Munchkins seemed strange, they didn’t seem crazy. 

Entertainment

There’s nothing like holiday tips to make your holiday more magical- or more paranoid. Infidelity expert Ruth Houston offered holiday tips on how to tell whether your husband is cheating. This involves a lot of snooping, such as checking his credit card statements and phone bills. She said that if you see $300 worth of lingerie on his card from Victoria’s Secret and you didn’t get any, time to be suspicious. I’m thinking it could be that he hasn’t given it to you yet, or its in his closet. She says that if he gives you an especially nice Christmas present, you should be suspicious. And you should go to his office party and watch for suspicious body language. And keep an eye on him all day Christmas, as he may try and contact the person he’s having an affair with. She says that Christmas and Valentines Day are the two best holidays to catch a cheating husband. Ruth Houston, ruining marriages one holiday at a time.

It is often said that a great place to pick up women is in a museum. I can think of one museum that would clearly be the exception. The Eunuch Culture Museum, scheduled to reopen after its renovation in China just in time for the Olympic games. It includes replicas of famous castration rooms. And for male visitors, they’ll get to have the experience of walking around while their balls try to retreat inside their bodies.

Three women who sell wine under the business name "Girls Gone Wine" are in a legal battle with the producers of "Girls Gone Wild" videos, who are claiming trademark infringement. Founder Joes Francis said from jail: "It just backs up everything that people have tried to do to me over the last few years to take advantage of me and we're tired of it.” This from a man who made a career of taking advantage of drunk young women, some of them not of legal age, which is why his quotes now come from jail.

When you are the last man on earth, you can hardly be blamed if your thoughts turn a little wicked. That’s the case for Will Smith, in his new film I AM Legend. His character goes into a video rental store, and in the background the store shelves are stocked with Wicked picture DVDs, including Gossip, 3 Wishes, One night in Vegas, and Dream Quest. Humankind may be fleeting, but porn survives.

Judd Apatow tried to push the envelope in his new film Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox story. The penis envelope anyway. He had a penis clearly visible near star John C. Reilly’s head in the orgy scene. And he was forced to cut it when test audiences reacted negatively and 22 people walked out when the scene appeared. "It really makes me laugh in this day and age with how psychotic our world is, that anyone is troubled by seeing any part of the human body; that is amusing to me." He said "America fears the penis and that's something I'm going to help them get over. I'm gonna get a penis in every movie I do from now on. The blocked cock will reappear in a special feature on the DVD.

And in whose getting naked now, how about Bond, james bond. Current bond Daniel Craig vowed that he will appear totally naked in the next bond film. “I'd go totally nude. I've got nothing to hide, and after all, we ask the girls to reveal almost all, so why not the men?” he said. The answer to that was discovered by Judd Apatow. Americans are terrified of penises, which they apparently see as more dangerous than any of Q’s amazing gadgets.

This just seems to me more like a product Britney Spears might endorse- not Paris Hilton. Its champagne in a can, called Rich Presecco. It comes in three exciting flavors. I don’t now what they are, but my guess would be cheap, crappy, and barely drinkable. And her excuse for posing naked in gold paint in the desert to promote it is that part of the profits will be donated to providing fresh drinking water to areas that need it. As if she needs an excuse to get naked.

Keira Knightley has a steamy sex scene with James McAvoy in the new film Atonement. She recently talked about how carefully it was choreographed. She said “Because we choreographed all the moves and the moves are locked down, it means you don't feel weird about touching somebody's breast or something like that, because you've both agreed that's fine, so you can go for it and act a character.” Its times like this I wish I was back in the acting game.

Marcia Cross of Desperate Wives learned the hard way that a shredder is a great investment. Her husband threw out 200 nude photos of her, and they were discovered and retrieved and posted on the Internet. What I can’t figure out is why in the world you would throw out naked pictures of your wife. I have tons of naked pictures of my wife, and I would never think of throwing them out. What’s wrong with these people?

In the world of porn, female stars typically leave the industry, and on occasion, they sometimes come back to it. In this case, I’ve never been happier that an adult star has returned to the industry. Not just because she’s hot, but also because she is healthy enough to. Nikki Hunter was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia that forced her to retire from performing. Now she is directing, has her own production company, and will retun to the screen with an eight girl orgy with Flower Tucci, Luscious Lopez, Olivia O’Lovely, Trina Michaels and Alana Evans in the upcoming edition of Cousin Steve’s Pussy Party series. Welcome back, Nicki.

And in the latest in adult films Director Andre Madness brings us Taboo: On the Edge, which was shot in the largest working dungeon in Los Angeles. It is based on real experiences as described by the dungeon owner. They tried to provide a realistic view of bondage and flogging to spanking and wax pouring, combined with some hard core sex. It features Regan Reese, Carly Parker, Ricki White, Veronica Jett and Alexis Love. It is distributed by Hustler Video.

Alt porn director Joanna Angel brings us her first all girl movie, which features the first and only scene between Joanna Angle and the very popular Jenna Haze. Also along for the ride are Scarlett Pain, Gia Paloma, Jade Starr, Ariel X, Lorelei Lee, and others. Many consider Joanna Angel to be one of the more interesting in the new generation of adult film makers, and in person she comes across as bright, articulate, and passionate about making the kinds of movies she does. She called shooting the move akin to a lesbian slumber party, and if you are a guy, this is about as close as you are going to get to such things. It comes from her company Burning Angel. Music in the movie is by "The Erotics" - a cock rock band from Albany, New York. And thank god for wikipedia because I had no idea what a cock rock band was. And now that I’ve looked it up, I understand why. And interestingly, there does not seem to be a female equivalent. I don’t even know what you’d call it. Pussy pop, country cu… I don’t know?

Harmony Films presents The Initiation of Nikki Jayne. It features her first time on film, and many other sexual firsts for her of the type one might expect in a porn film. Nikki Jayne has gotten a lot of attention lately, being featured in the mainstream Porn Week reality series on the Bravo channel. But in the U.K., not in America of course. The show is about porn shoots and events, part of the pornweek.com site that offers vacations to couples and singles where they bet to mingle with adult stars and hang out on adult sets. Makes me think of the Virginia Beach slogan, all kinds of fun.

Interview

There has been a lot of talk lately about the war on Christmas, taking Christ out of Christmas, but the original festivals that Christmas took over, the winter solstice festivals, weren’t about Christ. And Christ wasn’t even born on December 25th, or even in winter, or even in the year 1 AD. Some believe that Jesus was born in the Spring around March or April, while other believe it may have been September.

Santa: Well, I’ve never been particularly religious. No matter what you believe about god, I embody the spirit of giving. And punishing bad children. It’s a season of good will.

It used to be a season of sacrifice and coming together. And by that I animal sacrifice, and the coming together in orgies.

Santa: Orgies? I don’t know about that…

Well, at least a lot of sexual license. Originally, it was a pagan festival in Roman times called Saturnalia that ran for many days, in honor of the god Saturn, mixed in with the celebration of the birth of Mithra the sun god. Most of our Christmas traditions come from Saturnalia and other pagan traditions. And throughout history, Christmas has been more about festivities than Jesus.

Santa: Santa likes festivities. Ho ho ho.

And the early Christian church knew most people did and were unlikely to give them up. Roman Emperor Aurelian in A.D. 274 declared December 25th  the "Birth of the Unconquered Sun" celebration in honor of the birth of Mithra, which may be the reason that Pope Julius I, who ruled from 337 to 352 AD, declared that date as the birth of Christ. The Christian Church wanted to move pagans into Christianity, so they essentially changed the name and turned it into a mass for Christ, or later, Christmas. But although the name changed, the winter solstice celebrations and traditions stayed the same. People continued to celebrate the holiday as they always had. You are big on the gift giving, but do you know where that tradition started Santa?

Santa: The wise men?

A lot of people think that it was inspired by the wise men bringing gifts. But actually, exchanging gifts had long been a traditional part of Saturnalia, and once it was changed to Christmas, people continued with that tradition and never gave it a religious interpretation. It was just a part of the good will of the season. And the Christmas tree. You know where that comes from Santa?

Santa: Uhh, Santa loves Christmas trees. And stockings. I love stockings. And not in a fetish way, they are just great places to put presents. I love putting presents in them and under the tree.

Well, Bringing evergreens boughs into the house for decoration along with holly was a Saturnalia practice. And they did decorate trees with ornaments, but the trees stayed outside. They also decorated trees with lit candles. The Germans later combined the two by bringing the trees indoors and decorating them, and the decorated tree was introduced to England in 1846 when the German Prince Albert married Queen Victoria. They did not really start to catch on in the U.S. until the 1890s though. And Christmas caroling. You like Christmas caroling Santa?

Santa: The sound of Christmas Carols is one of Santa’s favorite things. 

You know who hated Christmas Carols?

Santa: No one hates Christmas Carols.

Someone did. Oliver Cromwell, the puritan leader. He banned them entirely in England in 1649. He was no fan of the pagan practices associated with Christmas, and essentially banned Christmas. He was incensed by one ancient practice that continued even into his day- roaming around singing holiday songs- in the nude..

Santa: Wouldn’t that be a little cold?

They were a hearty people. And the practice started in the more temperate climate of Rome. Popular traditions are slow to die out. And people did not want to give up their Christmas celebrations which is part of the reason Cromwell was given the boot and they restored the monarchy. And Christmas. 

A lot of the rules were relaxed during Saturnalia. Sexual licentiousness was allowed. Men dressed as women and women dressed as men. Roles were reversed, even between the rich and poor, where a poor man could come to a rich man’s house and demand a fine meal or gifts. Erotic dances were performed with a large erect phallus being carried around in the dancing processionals. The word saturnalia even became a synonym for the word orgy. The word "orgy" comes from the Greek word "orgia" meaning "secret worship". At these festivals, though, the worship was lustful and less than secret. Orgies and sexual liberty were always with the sphere of the wealthy and powerful. Saturnalia reversed the roles, allowing the poor and even slaves to indulge in what had always been available to the upper class.

Santa; Well none of that describes the Christmas I know.

No, it better described of the office Christmas party. But yes, the sexual aspects have slowly disappeared, although one remains. Kissing under the mistletoe. The inspirations for this seems to derive from Norse mythology, although the kissing part would certainly have been in the spirit of Saturnalia. Even so, it is a part of the tradition of relaxing the rules during the holidays, at least a little, and during the Victorian era mistletoe was very popular. So Santa, do you think of Christmas as a particularly American holiday?

Santa: Oh my no. It is celebrated all over the world, with boys and girls eagerly awaiting my arrival wherever I travel.

True, there were different versions of the Santa Claus story all over the world. Although the modern particulars about you are distinctly American. Washington Irving wrote about you arriving on horseback in 1809. But the Santa we know today was largely a creation of Clement Clarke Moore in his 1823 Night Before Christmas poem. That gave you the wonderful sleigh and reindeer, gave them names, and added the going down the chimney part. Starting in the 1860’s in Harper’s magazine, illustrator Thomas Nast added the workshop at the North Pole and Santa's list of the good and bad children of the world. The Story of Rudolph was written by ad writer Robert L. May and delivered as a Christmas message from the Montgomery Ward store. And it was an ad for Coca cola that established the basic look you have today.

Santa: Santa loves coca-cola; the caffeine keeps me awake on that long ride in the middle of the night.

While the modern Santa is distinctly American, though, it took a long time for Christmas to catch on here.

Santa: Everyone loves Christmas

Actually, the early Puritans banned it entirely. It was literally banned in Boston. Most churches did not have Christmas services. It took a long time to catch on here. It was not even declared a federal holiday in the United States until 1870. In the early 19th century, Christmas was a time of class riots. In fact, New York in 1828 established its first police force because of the violence of that year’s Christmas rioting. Dickens A Christmas Carol really did get people to rethink a lot of issues about class and poverty. But really, Christmas as we know it in the U.S. did not fully catch on until after the civil war.

Santa: So you’re saying that Christmas is… I’m not sure what you are saying…

I’m saying that Christmas isn’t just a Christian holiday. Sure, you can celebrate the birth of Jesus, but that is an add on. Take Jesus out of the picture and you still have Santa, stocking, presents, trees, lights, carols, feasting. All these traditions predate any notion of Jesus’ birth, and it is these traditions that we hold dear during this season. Pagan, atheist, Jew, Christian, Buhdhist- no matter what you are, the traditions of Christmas are for everyone. Peace on earth. Good will towards men. These are values for all of us. Christmas is everyone’s holiday. We don’t need to put the Christ back in Christmas, we need to keep the Christmas in all of us, no matter what our faith or beliefs. It’s a time to come together in celebration, love, and joy. That’s the reason for the season..

Santa: Well, Santa can agree with that.

Well, thanks Santa. Its been an interesting interview.

Santa: Uh, yes, and Merry christams everyone, merry Christmas.