The Jeff Booth Show

Internet Radio with Pictures

Show Transcripts

August 5th, 2007

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Jeff@eroticuniversity.com

(818) 613-9248

Political News

In the 1970’s, Planned Parenthood teamed up with Marvel Comics to create a special edition of Spiderman, in an adventure called Pull of the Prodigy. In it, Spiderman winds up battling an evil alien. In one panel, the alien says about his gathering of young teenagers: “My mind binding has worked- they won’t learn anything about anything here.” What is his evil plan? To brainwash kids with false sex education information so they’ll know nothing about birth control and get pregnant. All the extra unwanted babies will be whisked away to his planet to be raised for child slave labor. Spiderman overhears the plan and says. “This guys plan is to keep kids from getting facts. They probably don’t even know that getting pregnant at their age is risky for mothers and babies.”  The evil prodigy even tells the kids not to worry, they and their babies will be well taken care of. How could Stan Lee have seen so far into the future? He failed to see that both the Democrats and the Republicans would be part of the evil plot?  The democratic Congress just increased funding for abstinence only education that makes sure they won’t learn anything about anything. And as reported in last Wednesdays Los Angeles Times, the Democrats have decided to shift gears on abortion. True, they may understand that an abortion is actually safer for a young person than carrying a child to term, but the new plan is to allie with Republicans to promote having the children with lots of government help. Deomocart Representative Tim Ryan says about pregnancy, "Bring the baby to term, and we'll provide for you." Prodigy tells teenagers “Believe me, you’ll be safe and have everything you need and want. Your babies won’t be a burden” The Republicrat plan is called the Reducing Need for Abortions Initiatives, and includes emphasis on helping unwed school age women have babies and still go to school and funding even more pregnancy crises centers to talk women into going though with their pregnancy. We won’t teach you about birth control, but we’ll spend lots of money helping support you as an unwed mother with an unplanned baby. Apparently, with Spidie busy making blockbuster movies, he had no time to thwart prodigy’s new attempt at his evil plan.

With the Reducing Need for Abortions Initiative, you’d think that part of the plan would be to help school age women not get pregnant in the first place. Like maybe making birth control more affordable. Thanks to the Deficit Reduction Act signed by President Bush last year, college students will see a steep increase in the cost of birth control that they used to be able to purchase through their campus health centers. The bill actually provides a financial disincentive to drug companies that want to offer discounts to college students. You might even begin to suspect that George Bush is the evil alien  prodigy, but only if you assume the name is deeply ironic.

The internet is complicated. With sites such as youtube, no wonder Senator Ted Stevens described the Internet as a series of tubes. Apparently, everyone has their own tube, and many of those tubes are filled with child predators. At least according to Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney. He decided not to do a YouTube debate like the deomocratic presidential candidates did on CNN for that reason. He said, “"YouTube looked to see if they had any convicted sex offenders on their web site. They had 29,000." He sure did not want to get sucked into any of those tubes. Except that he was confusing YouTube with Myspace, which is owned by Rupert Murdock, the Republican Mastermind behind the fake news Fox New Channel. And if elected, Romney plans to take his depth of knowledge about the Internet and use it to enforce our obscenity laws. OF course, what’s to keep him from confusing free speech with obscenity?

When Paris Hilton and Linbsey Lohan continue to be the top stories of the day, it is pretty clear that the mainstream media doesn’t cover much actual news anymore. Informing us about the important issues of the day would be so last century. We don’t need to know Hillary Clinton’s stands on the issues, we need to know about her tits. And thus, the great Clinton cleavage controversy begins. Did she show too much of her titties- that’s the raging issue of the day. And the answer is, no you lazy half-assed excuses for journalists who prefer to focus on issues that require no research, no knowledge, and only require you to use a handful of the few brain cells you still have functioning. .I hang out with porn stars. I know cleavage. This is cleavage. And so is this. And this is definitely cleavage. But this is nothing other than a tempest in a C cup, and even then the controversy may be exaggerated.

In New York City at the Caliente Cab Company restaurant, they don’t accept American Express- or American lesbians. Or more specifically, women who dress too much like men and look a little too butch. Even though they are in an area with a large lesbian community. A male bouncer burst into the women’s restroom, forced the apparently too masculine but decidedly a woman out and insisted she and her entire party pay their entire tab and leave- even though their meal had not been served yet. A lawsuit is pending against the unrepentant and ironically named Caliente Cab Company, where lesbians who don’t meet their definition of femininity get taken for a ride.

Bush and fellow traveling Republicans made a big deal about alternatives to making stem cells without having to destroy human embryos. It was roundly cited in Bush’s veto of new stem cell legislation that would have removed some of his restrictions. Now scientists actually have come up with some technologies they would like to try that don’t require embryo destruction, but they can’t get funding. Why? Because the way Bush’s ban was written assumes that the only way to get stem cells is by destroying embryos, and makes no concession for alternative methods. SO essentially, it is a ban on federally funded stem cell research period. The National Institute for Health has sidelined such procedures, that essentially remove a single cell from an embryo, because of concerns that cell removal might harm the embryo somehow, something for which there is no scientific support. And don’t forget that all of this is about harvesting cells from embryos that are still going to be destroyed anyway. Bush’s approach to politicizing science is the equivalent of hammering a railroad tie into your skull. It doesn’t make sense when you do it, and causes a hell of a lot of damage.

I’ll admit, I think Michael Bloomburg is smart, and his record seems to show that he is an excellent manager. With a tiny exception that might make a big difference if he embarks on his own independent and self financed bid for the presidency. He apparently stepped outside during the sexual harassment in the workplace seminars. While running his own company, He asked a female employee if she was giving her boyfriend "good" oral sex. It’s a baffling question, unless he was just volunteering to give her some personalized instruction just in case her skills were sub par. Other reported office comments about women in the office include “I’d like to do that”, “That’s a great piece of ass”,  and  “I’d fuck that in a second” which doesn’t say much for his staying power.  He once told a reporter "I like theater, dining and chasing women.  Let me put it this way: I am a single, straight billionaire in Manhattan. What do you think? It's a wet dream." Other Bloombergian comments include "If women wanted to be appreciated for their brains, they'd go to the library instead of to Bloomingdale's." and the classic, on his computer terminal design that made him fabuuously rich- "It will do everything, including give you (oral sex). I guess that puts a lot of you girls out of business." Sure some of his comments seem sexist and sort of retro 1950’s, but we can’t fault the man for liking sex. On the other hand, how is he going to get the required Republicans on board when they made such a huge deal about sexual harassment and Clinton?  Its going to be an interesting campaign if he jumps in.

Congressional Democrats have proposed a new bill that would allow for Abstinence plus education, which means that on top of teaching abstinence with federal moneys, teachers could also offer some actual education: Under the bill, states would have the option to accept funds for abstinence-only sex education programs or for programs that promote abstinence and also teach "those who are currently sexually active or at risk of sexual activity about additional methods to prevent unintended pregnancy or reduce health risks." The bill also would require all programs that receive funding to provide medically accurate information and demonstrate effectiveness in reducing rates of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections such as HIV. As we know, abstinence only is a total failure in all of those areas, so Of course, the President plans to veto the bill. Bush is famous for his question about education when he said “"Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?” He asked, and when it comes to sex education, his answer is “Not as long as me am president”.

Because they are essentially a hate group, Focus on the Family has little love for hate crimes legislation, expecially if new legislation is passed that will include sexual orientation. That is something they definitely want to stop. The legislation, not the hate. In a new video on their political site Citizen Link, Stuart Shepard mocks hate crime legislation while standing beside a freeway, stating that we really need is legislation for Really hacked off crimes, such as when a driver sees a merge sign and speeds up recklessly to merge. Since hacked off is the equivalent of pissed off, that doesn’t even make any sense, since the person cutting into traffic isn’t annoyed, just in a hurry to get over. And, of course, its not even a crime. He then comes up with other strange things, like really peeved crimes legislation, which has something to do with not getting onions on your burger. I’m not making this up. None of the things he comes up with are actually crimes, and hardly compare to mercilessly beating someone and then leaving them hanging from a fence to die alone just because they are gay, which is part of what the hate crimes legislation Is about.. He comes off sounding an awful lot like one of the many brilliantly idiotic characters played by Fred Willard. Shepard then concludes that hate crime legislation directed at violence against people just because they are gay is The off-ramp that leads to the end of marriage and family. This video is the off-ramp to stupidville. Whats scary is that there is most certainly an audience that will get this video and think that it makes any sense beyond being the hate-filled mocking piece of imbecilic crap that it is. Can we find a compelling reason for those folks to convince them that voting is against god's will?

We get an unbelievable amount of spam, and it is difficult for us to filter it out. We’re in the sex business. We get a lot of legitimate emails that by the headers could certainly sound like the obnoxious sexually related spam. For most people, the header Hot new sex toy is obvious spam, but for us, it could be a submission to our sexinreview.com site. And the header “Hot Milf wants you for wild sex”- I get legitimate variations of that all the time. The last thing we want to see on one of our sex site emails is the header “A family member is sending you an e-card.” We’ve been getting tons of those SPAM scams lately. So  I’m calling for legislation at the national level that would mandate  the death penalty for spammers. CANSPAM legislation did not work, so we want to see FrySpam legislation. I am not a big fan of the death penalty, but I make an exception in this case. Sure, it may not dissuade them from doing it, but it will certainly keep them from ever doing it again. And to make sure people know about it, put the executions out on youtube. Please. We are drowning in this stuff.

Science

Have you noticed that in movies and television, abortion doesn’t seem to even exist as a realistic option anymore. In the film Knocked Up, Katherine Hegel takes the father, played by Seth Rogan, with her to her OB-GYN where they both view the ultra-sound, thus eliminating abortion as an option. Viewing an ultrasound is what anti-abortion groups want to make mandatory for anyone wanting an abortion.  In the film Waitress, the character played by Keri Russell doesn’t even allow the doctor to say the word. And on the series Lost, a main character gets pregnant, but every pregnant woman on the Island dies. We never hear mention of the word abortion once.

An interesting article in the San Francisco Chronicle quotes the author of “Sex as Nature Intended It,” Kristen O'Hara, who claims that she had pain from sex and resultant frigidity due to having abnormal sex. And what caused the abnormal sex? According to her, it was the unnatural shape of her husband’s penis because he had been circumcised. She also claims that circumcision reduces pleasure for the woman, which is why so many have to fake orgasm. I am assuming she is unfamiliar with a little thing called a clitoris, which has a lot to say about orgasms but is quite silent on the topic of extra pockets of skin on the tip of the penis. O’Hara has her theories about foreskin cushioning and its ability to help the vagina retain lubrication, but of course, she never consulted any physicians or sex therapists or in fact any other experts. She just did a survey, which is only as good as the protocols used. Experts such as Susie Brite have never heard of this pain from uncircumcised penises theory, and neither have I, but it is certainly a useful argument for those who want to see a ban on circumcision. And yes, there is a very adamant politicized anti-circumcision crowd that is obsessed with the topic.  There are some advantages to circumcision that I find rather compelling. Based on my own discussions with women and from anecdotal evidence from books like Maggie Paley’s “The Book of the Penis”, it seems that a majority of women find it more pleasant to give head to a circumcised penis. It has long been claimed that circumcision is just more sanitary, but research shows it goes beyond that. According to research by French AIDS researcher Bertran Auvert, circumcised men were 63 percent less likely to contract AIDS through vaginal sex than uncircumcised men.

At the Creation Museum in Kentucky, you can see children and dinosaurs playing together. That doesn’t mean that dinosaurs are good role models for children, however. Scientists have recently determined that unlike birds, which they believe are descended from dinoaurs, dinosaurs did not wait to reach adulthood before having sex. Would you let your kid play with a horny adolescent dinosaur? I don’t think so.

Whacko of the Week

California representative  John Doolittle has a very strange political history. True, he is deeply tied into the Abramhoff corruption scandal and the FBI has raided his home, but what seems really strange is his stance on sexual exploitation. He doesn’t seem to be as opposed to it as you would suppose.

There is no evidence to show that he benefited from the prostitution services that his friend Brent Wilkes provided to Duke Cunningham.

In 2006, he voted No against a cybercrimes bill that would increase funding to go after online child sexual exploitation. That is certainly not inconsistent with his dealings with one of the huge scandals at the core of the Abramhoff corruption scandal- the Commonwealth of the Northern Marianas Islands or CNMI.

It seems their labor laws are a little shaky there. Underage Filipino and Chinese girls were recruited under false pretenses to work as waitresses, garment factory workers, or cashiers. They wound up being forced to work as strippers and prostitutes in Karaoke bars, discos, massage parlors and clubs.

Congress can write laws that apply to CNMI, and reforming their labor laws was something that has been considered in congress for a long time so that these kinds of abuses won’t continue. Except that the last thing the government of CNMI wanted was congressionally mandated reforms. So, they paid abramoff, and  Abrahmof bought off Congressmen like Doolittle and Delay to make sure those laws never passed.

Currently in Congress is Senate Bill 1634, which would extend US labor and immigration laws to the CNMI,  ending 25 years of abuse Doolittle bizarrely opposes the bill because he calls CNMI the only territory that is a free enterprise zone. My idea of a free enterprise zone is not one where customers can fuck underage girls forced into prostitution. He seems to see it differently.

Which is why John Doolittle is our whacko of the week. Or more accurately, maybe our sicko of the week.

 Who Has Not Had Who?

Welcome to Who Has Not Had Who?  the game show where you try to guess who, despite their fame, has faced abject rejection from the objects of their affection, or lust. You must choose which of the three examples is the real incident of  humiliation to those whom believe that their fame should be an e ticket ride into the pants of their choice. This is our special politics edition, and here’s our first question.

In the 1980’s, this woman who would become know for her secretary duties, rejected the advances of a man who would someday become one of the most powerful men in the world. In a recent interview, she said of his attempt to ask her out, :He was so inept, so inartful.”

Was it:

1. George Bush hitting on now Secretary of State Condeleeza Rice
2. Dick Cheney hitting on his own secretary at Halliburton
3. Karl Rove hitting on Bush Education Secretary Margaret Spellings.

This was revealed in an interview in the Washington Post. Rove later jokingly said it took him decades to recover. Rove has denied, however, that repeated similar rejections led to his secret plan for revenge against all Americans by getting an imbecile president elected who would trash the justice department, the constitution, the economy, and the country’s international reputation.

Next question…

This politician used a smackdown of “go fuck yourself” fearing that a lip smack was coming a little too close for comfort on the congressional floor.

Was it

A: Barney Frank thinking Nancy Pelosi was trying to kiss him

B. Dick Cheney thinking that Patrick Leahy was trying to kiss him

C.  Tom Foley to a congressional page, adding, “But I’ll join you later”

Cheney revealed his fear of a Democratic smooch in the new book, Cheney the Untold story. Leahy claims he was just trying to shake his hand. The misunderstanding may have been simply Cheney’s unfamiliarity with simple acts of human warmth. Cheney is an enigma wrapped in a riddle, laquerered in a coating of something that never quite loses its unpleasant stench .

Next and final question:

Listen carefully to this lawsuit court transcript of a monologue found on the Smoking Gun web site and determine the famous television host who is allegedly speaking in this phone conversation:

You would basically be in the shower and then I would come in and join you and you would have your back up to me and I would take that little loofa thing and kinda soap up your back, rub it all over you, get you to relax, hot water, and um, you know, you’d feel the tension drain out of you, and uh, you’d still be with your back to me then I would kinda put my arm- its one of those mitts, those loofa mitts, you know,  so I got my hands in it, and I would put it around front, kinda rub your tummy a little bit with it, then with my other hand I would start to massage your boobs, get your nipples really hard, cuz I like that and you have really spectatcular boobs, So anyway, I’d be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda kissing your neck from behind… and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I’d put it on your pussy…

You need to tell me if it was claimed to have been said by

A. Larry King to each of his future wives

B. Fox host Bill O’Reilly to employee and Associate Producer Andrea  Mackris in a session of unwanted phone sex .

C. President Clinton upon first meeting pretty much any woman.

The explicit quotes led many to believe that some of the conversations had been recorded, including his statements that playing along with him would further her career, which may explain why a confidential settlement was quickly agreed to in which Andrea was reportedly paid millions. In the end, O’reilly learned his lesson, as is made clear from this quote from his book the O’Reilly Factor for Kids, "And guys, if you exploit a girl, it will come back to get you. That's called 'karma.'" Ironically, this book was published the month before the lawsuit.

Thanks for playing, and join us next time for a special Paris Hilton Lindsey Lohan edition- humiliating jail rejections. Until then, I’m Martin Price, bidding you good day, and happy hunting.

Sexvestigation

Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez stated that the "aggressive prosecution" of obscenity is among his top priorities. Even so, his single high profile obscenity case was thrown out of court and they had to start with that case all over again. SO what happened. Why has the Attorney General, who said that obscenity was right up there with terrorism as a top priority, gotten so little done. Why hasn’t he gotten after the Marriott Corporation for the x-rated movies shown in hotel rooms? Why no prosecution of  Time Warner for the porn films flowing through their cable network. He has not even gone after a major player like Vivid.

Thanks to this secret recording from the Justice Department, we have a little more insight into what the problem is.

Underling: Mr Attorney General, first, let me say that ever since I graduated from Pat Robertson’s Regency University, my lifelong ambition has been to work here in the Justice Department and go after the scourge of pornography. I am so excited that you asked me in the meeting last week to head up this new obscenity task force.

Atorney General: I have no recollection of that meeting. (8)

U: This was the meeting last Wednesday

AG: Idon’t know that a decision was made at that meeting (9)

U: Yes, sir, you even sent me an email conformation on the RNC account confirming my new duties

AG: I wasn’t aware of this email (10)

U: You sent me this email on Thursday, remember?

AG: I don’t recall remembering. (4)

U: In the email, you asked me to gather together several of the most disgusting and prosecutable adult movies I could find, the kind that the mere watching of would sap anyone’s moral strength. I’ve spent the whole week viewing them to find the worst of the worst. I’ve made some stills from the videos to show you what I mean. This first is from a movie called A Connecticutt Twink on King Arthurs Cock, This scene involves very explicit sex in the behind with two men.

AG: I don’t recall ever doing that (5)

U: Of course not sir. I’ve never taken those rumors between you and the president seriously.

This next is from a movie called The Boner Ultimatum, a followup to the popular Boner Supremecy.

AG: And there are many good things about his performance and I very much admire him as a person. (12)

U: No sir, this is a pornographic version of the movie you are thinking of. They take a popular movie title and then make a sex movie based on it.

AG: I Just know that they would not do that (2)

U: They do sir. Look here. I believe that is what they call the Reverse Cowgirl Position.

AG: As Attorney General, I don’t recall taking such a position. (11)

U: I would never accuse you of that sir, this type of position is only for degenerates. Notice how her portal to hell is right there for all to see while he thrusts into her, rather vigorously I might add, - which explains the blurriness of the photo. This stuff is very perverse, its defintitely rated X

AG: I don’t recall being aware of the letter (6)

U: The letter x is used as a rating, sir. It means it is very explicit, unless you have three x’s, triple x, and then it means there are threesomes and such.

AG: I don’t recall the specific mention of this conversation. (1)

U: I’m not talking about a conversation, sir, I’m telling you right now.

AG: I do not recall (3)

U: No sir, we are talking about it right now

AG: I have searched my memory (7)

U: Well sir, I think I’m going to go back to my office now. May be we can follow up on this later

(the numbers refer to clips from actual attorney general statements)