The Jeff Booth Show

Internet Radio with Pictures

Show Transcripts

May 17th, 2009

You can contact us at:

Jeff@eroticuniversity.com

(818) 613-9248

Intro

Welcome to the show. We have our usual roundup of sex in politics. We learn why the dogs run in the Iditarod (hint- it has something to do with a certain sexual practice that Alaska has failed to outlaw). We look at the Saudi Arabia version of the Miss America pageant, which is not surprisingly nothing like our pageants. Some famous  Republican gay political figures are outed in a new documentary called Outrage, and Texas is commiting a real outrage against victims of rape. On the lighter side in entertainment- masturbation records, the oldest nude woman who looks remarkably good for her age, which is around 35,000, and the San Francisco Weekly attacks BDSM. The Weekly, which like the L.A. Weekly is owned by a company in New York, is not sex positive. We had a piece including Kris and me written for the L.A. Weekly and it got spiked because it was a sex article on swinging that was too positive. Amazingly, the piece wound up instead in Los Angeles magazine. And yes, we are back again on the Carrie Prejean thing since there have been so many new revelations that we just could not ignore. We address them in our Letter to Carrie. And finally, we interview the fictitious Tony Juliano from the Coalition Restoring America’s Biblical Standards, who explains his views of biblical morality.

News

At this point, we all know Alaska is a strange place. SO I suppose it should not be surprising that their legislature was unable to pass an anti-bestiality bill. I would have loved to have heard the opposing arguments, which I am assuming hailed Alaska’s strong traditions. The bill was dubbed “Ididadog”.

On Fox News on Monday, Bill O’Reilly said he opposes gay marriage for a very good reason. He says gay marriage would let everyone who wants to get married get married. “You want to marry a turtle, you can.” He has previously said that legalizing gay marriage would ultimately allow for a person to marry a goat, duck, or dolphin. But you know, I just don’t see that happening. Except, maybe in Alaska. And to be fair- they have a real woman shortage there.

I know the MILF phenomenon has really taken off in videos, but I don’t know that it has hit the strip clubs yet- and the GILF thing really isn’t going to work. Even so, the Houston EEOC has filed charges against a Houston strip club for firing an employee because she was too old- 50 to be exact. This sort of thing is nothing new. Here in California, they went after strip clubs for not installing wheelchair ramps into the showers where dancers performed.

With all of the controversy about Miss California, let’s not forget the upcoming Miss Saudi Arabia, or as they call it there, Miss Beautiful Morals. Dressed head to toe in stylish black with an eye revealing veil, these young women know how to strut their second class citizenship.  It’s a ten week long pageant going on now, where women are judged on their devotion to Islam and their parents. The talent section is judged on how well they can completely subsume their personalities. In a country where the ruling family gets to bathe in all the oil money, the winner of the only contest that women can enter gets an entire $2600. Money I suspect her father actually gets to control. And no scholarship- how moral could a woman be who wants to be educated? We so need to get off the oil economy so countries like this go back to the shithole sandpiles they are and the Saudi ruling family sinks back into the desert sands. Saudi Arabia is our ally like Dick Cheney is a hunting buddy. This is a country where they let 14 women burn to death in a fire because the firemen were not allowed in because they might see unveiled women while rescuing them from a fiery death. It’s a country where the morality police attack florists for selling red roses on Valentine’s day, and they forbid men from walking dogs in public because they might be using them as an excuse to meet women. You really want a good prize- give Miss Saudi Arabia a one way ticket out of that hell hole of a country.

A number of people are outraged by the new documentary Outrage. Directed by Kirby Dick, it essentially outs a number of Republican politicians that the film claims have bee hypocritical on gay issues. There are the obvious suspects, like Larry Craig, who has essentially already been outed right out of the bathroom stall. New to me was Florida Governor Charlie Crist, who apparently has long been rumored to be gay. He is a popular moderate Republican who recently announced his run for the Senate. But gay may be less important to Republicans than political purity. Conservatives already hate Crist for his more moderate stance, but they still supported Larry Craig with his wide stance.

Is there any other crime where the victim has to pay for the investigation? Not that I am aware of. Its rape, and along with Wasilla under the mayorship of Sarah Palin, a number of places still make rape victims pay for their rape kit- the rape kit that is used to investigate their rape and try to arrest the rapist. It is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard of. In a recent CNN report, it turns out that women in Texas are being charged thousands of dollars for their rape kits. Although the state’s Victim’s Compensation Fund has huge surpluses, the Attorney General seemed to infer that fully taking care of women rape victims would somehow make it insolvent. What a douche. Technically local police are supposed to pay, but when they don’t, and there is not a lot of incentment for them to, it falls on the rape victim- sometimes getting delinquent notices and threatening letters from hospitals months after the incident. The system is a bureaucratic nightmare for victims. They should never ever, ever, ever get a bill for a rape kit. Ever. I just can’t believe this still goes on, and that the Attorney General Greg Abbott just blew off the problem. What we really need are press revelations about him blowing off someone in a bathroom stall. That’s probably the only way to get rid of him in that state.

Entertainment

Flash Mountain is back! This was the name given to Disneyland’s Splash Mountain because women would flash their tits as they went down the plunge, knowing there was a camera there that took souvenir photos. Then Disneyland hired people to monitor the photos to make sure they never made it to the preview board. Now Disneyland has announced that they have better uses for their resources in these tough economic times. So it is Flash Mountain once again. But since the original monitoring of Splash Mountain, they have also added monitors to other rides with pictures. The overseers have been removed from those rides as well. SO now we’ll we have Tower of Ta-Tas, Space Mountains, and California Screamin for boobies.

Last weekend’s Masturbate-a-thon at the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco set some additional records. New United States Men's Distance Record was set by Flint Greasewood (nom de plume), at 5 feet 4 inches. New Women's World Tag Team - Time record set by the owners and union members of the cooperative strip club the Lusty Lady Theater- and I have absolurtely no idea what that means.  Masanobu Sato set a record by masturbating continuously for 9 hours and 53 minutes. He has been training back in his native Japan since last year’s win, so you know that the win was not just a stroke of luck.

In art news, the Venus of Willendorf had been the oldest representation of a nude woman, dating back 30,000 years. Her record has been broken. A carved ivory statue of a naked female was discovered, dating from 35,000 years ago. And it is carved from a tusk- the tusk of a wooly mammoth. Like the Venus, she has pendulous breasts, but she also has exaggerated genitalia. Its not just the oldest nude, it’s the oldest porn. Scientists believe that it may have represented female fertility, or been related to shamanistic rituals and belief, or simply held in one hand while you stroked with the other while preparing for a masturbation contest.

Megan Fox was clearly the most interesting thing in the ridiculous Transformers movie. Now she is out promoting the sequel, and she is also out. In next month’s Esquire she says “I think people are born bisexual and they make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I’m also a hypocrite. I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.” Wow, that’s just so…  not hot. I was going to introduce her to my wife. That completely blows the whole threesome fantasy for me. What about sleeping with a lesbian who had slept with a tranny who had sex with a bisexual woman? Just how dirty are men? And sleeping with a bi-girl is somehow dirtier than actually sleeping with a man. You so lost me.

Also out is David Ogden Stiers, best known for playing Major Charles Emerson Winchester III from M*A*S*H and Cogsworth the clock in Beauty and the Beats. He stayed in the closest so long because he has been doing a lot of voice work for Disney, and even though they are gay friendly, he did not want them to have to deal with a potential issue. Now at 66, he just wants to be himself.

So what’s with the San Francisco Weekly? Have they forgotten they are based in San Francisco. Sure, they ran a lengthy and surprisingly explicit photo essay about the Masturbate-a-thon on their web site, but what’s with the hate for the huge SF BDSM community. They ran an article titled  "Whipped and Gagged" complaining about the fact that the Kink.com porn production company, was able to get technological training funds for their employees from the State of California. They are a legal business, they pay their taxes, and the more money they make, the more money the state of California makes. And trust me, we need every dime. But the point is it was career training for the people who worked there, not subsidizing porn, and a lot of people have learned the video business doing porn only to move on to mainstream. The article attempted to equate consensual BDSM with torture- a pretty serious charge in these days when charges of real torture by our government are in the news. But here is the difference, and the reason why what was done to our troops when they were subjected to water boarding as part of their training is not torture for the same reason BDSM practices are not torture- because it is consensual. The horror of actual torture is that you have no choice, and you have no idea what will happen to you, including actual death. Besides the torture accusations, they repeat the lie that women are victims in pornography, forced into it for economic reasons. Besides being generally untrue, as writer Greta Christina points out: “Kink.com is renowned for seeking out performers who are lifestyle players and who give authentic, enthusiastic performances -- and for treating those performers well.” Ironically, the SF Weekly still run ads for people who will pay to have done to them what the article calls torture. I guess they can profit off it, but Kink.com can’t.

Hugh Hefner seems to be still quite energetic, but his magazine may be on life support. With an interim president after Christie Hefner retired, the magazine will be reducing the number of issues it publishes each year, with a combined July/August issue. It may have two playmates of the month who will have to compete over which one gets the staple. The June issue is supposed to have "a younger and fresher look," but since Hef seems to like them barely legal, I don’t know how you can go much younger.

This story is going around in porn circles. Adult performers are not known for their dependability, and many a shoot has been screwed up because the hired talent simply does not show up. The latest from West Coast Productions- their performer did not call, they simply twittered their excuse. Because it does not take more than a 140 characters to explain that you are a flake.

Born to be a Star is an Adam Sandler co-written  pic starring  Nick Swardson as a nerdish man from a small town who learns that his parents were famous 70s porn stars. He leaves Iowa and heads for Hollywood with plans to become the biggest adult-film star in the world. I can see he’ll already have problems, since he is a little too far east. The San Fernando Valley is actually the porn capital. Don Johnson plays a down-on-his-luck director who discovers Swardson and gives him his shot- well his pop shot anyway.

Don Johnson seems to be not just on a comedy roll lately but also a sex comedy roll. He will also appear in the indie film A Good Old Fashioned Orgy. Its about a group of 30-year-olds who have been friends since high school who attempt to throw an end-of-summer orgy. No release date has been set.  

Open Letter to Carrie

Hi Carrie Prejean. Its me, Jeff Booth. I know I said I would not talk about you anymore. That I just wanted you to go away. I am one of the people you so bitterly complain about as trying to silence you. But there is a big difference between saying that you wish someone would shut up and physically shutting them up. And despite your outcries about people somehow censoring you, you are still talking. A lot.

But here is the problem, Carrie. There is a very consistent pattern developing. I think you are a manipulative liar. Liar liar pants on fire. Okay, little pink panties on fire, since as a Christian lingerie model with the stated goal of becoming a Victoria’s Secret model, you often don’t wear pants. Or pay any attention to the Biblical instructions on female modesty- you know- the ones in the same book that call homosexuality an abomination- along with eating shellfish. And I can’t imagine the special place in hell reserved for lesbians who also eat lobster in public while wearing just their panties.

You play the poor victim while lying to me. You talked about how opposing gay marriage was just how you were raised. Except, you forgot to mention that your parents had a very lengthy and messy divorce with endless accusations that your father was gay. And you blamed him for the divorce. You claimed your sister was a gay activist, which your sister denies. Your sister is in the military- the last thing she needed was a national spotlight on her which would make the military look at her and wonder why she might be pro-gay.

You initially claimed that the topless photo of you was an amateur shot taken when you were 17, a ruse that kept the photo from being published initially since you would have been underage. Of course, that was before people knew you did not get that boob job until you were 20, a modification quite clear in the pictures when you were supposedly 17. When you tell a lie, it should not be one that is not so easy to disprove.

And then a whole bunch of photos showed up Tuesday with you posed on the beach. You admit these were professionally shot, and then said “I find it appalling that a professional photographer would violate my trust by releasing an unauthorized and inappropriate image taken in between posed shots on a windy day which I was unaware of.” You called it a wardrobe malfunction. It’s not just one shot, Carrie, it’s a whole series. And bullshit, Carrie. I have shot a lot of sexy pictures with a lot of models. They almost have a sixth sense about when the camera is going off. In one shot where your breast is exposed, you are looking straight at the camera. You know the shot was taken. It was not between poses- you are very posed. Your hair is in place. I know of no magical wind that can blow open your top but leave your hair perfectly in place. In fact, your arm seems to be holding that side of your top open. And it is not the only picture like that in the series, an entire series where you are wearing an open top.  They are lovely pictures, and you should be proud of them. The photographer, Dominic Petruzzi, calls you a liar and says you posed that way unprompted and that he showed you all the pictures. I think he has more credibility than you, frankly.

So what’s next Carrie? Video of you getting banged hard doggie style and your claiming he told you the camera on the tripod  pointing at you was turned off and he promised only to put it in a little ways. Carrie, instead of blaming everyone else, you should have just said that it was a mistake- you had forgotten about those photos and did not know they would ever be released and that you should have told the pageant officials and just apologized. No matter what the true story of the photos was, that would have been the right thing to do. But I notice another pattern. You are never wrong, and you never take responsibility for anything. You are always the victim and it is always someone else’s fault.

Having seen topless shots of you both ways, I think I prefer the originals. You should have trusted in God’s design. And it is wonderful that you did topless pictures. It is the lying about them that I and the pageant directors take issue with- both in your contract and after the fact. Lying over and over again. Lying even at the expense of others- the false witness thing blaming the photographer when that is clearly a lie. You do pick and choose from your biblical admonitions.

The press conference from pageant directors was brutal. They repeatedly called you a liar who shirked her contractual responsibilities. They went after the National Organization for Marriage for taking advantage of you and for using footage from the pageant without permission. They pointed out that NOM head Maggie Gallagher personally pocketed 42 percent of all donations to the organization last year.

Contrast that with your press conference where Donald Trump, who recognizes a fellow narcicistic publicity whore when he sees one, let you keep your crown. Had the pageant directors had any say, you would have been gone. In fact, former Miss USA and pageant co-director Shanna Moakler resigned in protest over Trump’s decision. Trump said that after looking over the photos, I am assuming very very carefully, he decided that they were lovely, this is the 21st century after all. He did not say whether he looked over the other pictures you intimated might exists, taken by other naughty photographers when you supposedly weren’t looking.

Trump made it all about the pictures, reinforcing the sexism and hypocrisy of the pageant that exploits women’s bodies but can’t stand the idea of women exploiting their own bodies. And that had nothing to do with the complaints from the pageant directors about your lying and ignoring your contractual obligations. But as a potential Mrs. Donald Trump #4, perhaps he did not want to be too critical. And I think it is a little creepy that he is now hanging out with you as you do media appearances.

Then you did your song and dance, with a speech so manipulative I wanted to puke. Come on- talking about your grandfather’s World War II war experiences and how he told you never to let anyone take those freedoms away from you as you nearly break down in tears. No one is taking your freedoms away from you- you are trying to take other people’s rights away from them. No one has stopped you from talking or censored you in any way. They have criticized you, but that is different, a difference you would recognize if you were not so stupid and self-involved.

You stridently said “On April 19th, on that stage, I exercised my freedom of speech, and I was punished for doing so. This should not happen in America!” How the hell were you punished? Because you did not win the crown? Like somehow it was owed to you? According to the judges you would have lost anyway. You were criticized. And that, Carrie, is also freedom of speech. It is not a one way street. Punished? You still have your Miss California crown, after lying and being a total douche by ignoring your commitments and refusing to even talk to pageant officials, and lending your name and title to a cause without the pageant’s permission- something that violated your contract. Former Miss Nevada Katie Rees had candid racy pictures turn up of her kissing another girl and she lost her title. No lying, no contract violations, just racy not meant for publication pictures. I suspect the irony is lost on you.

My favorite part of the press conference, though, was when the Donald hugs you and goes in for the smooch and you smoothly bypass it. If only you had been as smooth in your answer during the pageant.

You went on the James Dobson show on Christian radio and claimed that Satan, in the form of Perez Hilton I’m guessing, was tempting you with that question, and that God told you to stay true to your beliefs.  Admittedly, it had to be hard to answer the question with all those voices in your head. You claimed God said to you “If there were 95% of the people in the audience that were gay, you need to witness to them.” First, I kinda don’t believe that God speaks in non-sequiters. That is more the way you tend to talk. And second, it was a beauty pageant, Carrie, not an evangelical rally. SO now you weren’t just expressing your opinion but evangelizing and trying to save the sinners in the audience and make them not be gay. What, now you are Carrie Nation, preaching homo temperance? God spoke to you. So why did God also never remind you that lying is a sin? Or that He doesn’t make mistakes so you should have been happy with the breasts He gave you. Maybe you just have selective listening when it comes to God.

Carrie, you are not a victim. A lot of people are buying your bullshit, but not me.  

It’s about the lying, stupid.

Interview

We are talking with Tony Juliano, of New Jersey’s Coalition Restoring America’s Biblical Standards, or CRABS. They along with other groups are fighting hard against the push for legalized same sex marriage in New Jersey, along with what they perceive as other encroachments on morality. Welcome Tony.

TJ: Yeah, thanks for having me on.

JB: Your group is also working closely with the Coalition to Preserve and Protect Marriage.

TJ: Yeah, yeah we are. And my good friend Jim White of the CPP-M made an excellent point recently in a meeting with reporters. Here is what he “It’s also a well-know[n] fact that the homosexual lifestyle or homosexual practice is very unhealthy. Government should discourage it and not elevate it to a level by calling it marriage. In an age where we worry about people being overweight and going after them and the government interfering in that, what is the government doing promoting a lifestyle that is inherently unhealthy?“ I think Jim is 100% on that one.

JB: But might not gay marriage promote monogamy and healthier sexual practices?

TJ: That’s not the point. Have you ever seen how disgusting fat people are. . Its unhealthy to me because it makes me sick. Even worse with the gays. And then you got two fat gay guys walking down the street holding hands- I just lose it.

JB: So what do you think of the whole Carrie Prejean controversy?

TJ: She was just speaking her mind. And when someone that hot speaks, I’m going to listen. I may not know what she is talking about, but I am going to listen. I think she is hotter than the broad who won, but to be honest, I wouldn’t mind seeing the two of them going at it.

JB: Wait, wait. You oppose homosexuality but women together is okay.

TJ: I wouldn’t want ‘em to marry each other, but two women doing each other is not homosexuality. It’s a beautiful thing, as long as the guy gets to watch. See, in the Bible, its wrong because the guy is planting his seed in what we might call, you know, an infertile valley. Spillin his seed. Women got nothing to spill, so no big deal. Bible doesn’t make a deal of it. You think all those guys with multiple wives never watched them get it on? Never had a threesome with ‘em when they’re married to ‘em. Come on.

The website SexinChrist.com explains it all. One guy and two women- biblical and hot, as long as both women recognize that he is the boss. Now, two guys and one broad. Fuhgedaboudit. That’s faggy. It also has biblical verses explaining why women should shave their goodies bare, and why they should always swallow. It also points out all the Biblical mentions of butt sex, which are fine as long as the one getting it ain’t a guy. And best of all, the broad gets to stay a virgin. Good site. We need to get back to Biblical values.

JB: SO these are the traditional values you are promoting?

TJ: Absolutely. No sex between two guys. No fat broads. Beyond that, though, pretty much anything goes.

JB: Thanks for talking to us.

TJ: No problem. And by the way, we’re looking for women interested in coming to our meetings- trust me ladies- you’ll enjoy CRABS.