The Jeff Booth Show

Internet Radio with Pictures

Show Transcripts

March 1st, 2009

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Jeff@eroticuniversity.com

(818) 613-9248

Welcome to the Academy Awards for Sexual Stupidity 2009. More specifically, these awards cover February 2009, as there were plenty of brilliant performances in just a single month.

The award for the dumbest political anti-sex stance goes to:

Colorado State Sen. Dave Schultheis. He voted against a bill requiring HIV tests for pregnant women. His reasoning- HIV stems from sexual promiscuity, and he doesn’t think the government should reward sexual promiscuity. So if you were monogamous, married your spouse, who sadly happened to have AIDs without you knowing it, and you contracted HIV from him, you should remain ignorant so that you can give birth to an AIDS baby. Just what you deserve, you ignorant slut. And the baby deserves whatever it gets as well.

The award for most obscene anti-obscenity crusader goes to:

Virginia Republican Representative Eric Cantor. Strongly supporting a measure to dramatically increase fines against broadcasters who allow obscenities to be aired, he said on the House floor that the use of obscenity…should not and cannot be tolerated. He does have an exception though. It seems fully justified when going after unions. His office sent out a  profanity-laced video portraying the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees as a bunch of goons. It is supposedly an ad for AFCSME where the spokesman uses fuck or fucking more times than I could count. And although intended to ridicule them, it talks about all of the things they do like picking up your fucking grabage and I realized we’d really be up shit creek without them. Pardon the language.

The award for worst comparison ala everyone you don’t like is like Hitler goes to:

Missouri state lawmaker Bryan Stevenson. He said on the Missouri House floor “What we are dealing with today is the greatest power grab by the federal government since the war of northern aggression..” He’s talking about the Civil War, and in his mind, the North was the bad guys. Give it up. Your side lost Bryan. The slavery thing is never coming back. But what was he comparing to the civil war? Obama’s proposal to repeal the Federal Abortion ban by enacting the Freedom of Choice act.  Well, I guess forcing women to have children they do not want is a form of slavery, so I sort of guess I get the comparison. I’m just a little stunned he is openly on the pro-slavery side of the debate..

The award for the most irresponsible use of a vagina goes to:

Octomom, a name reminiscent of a Spiderman supervillain. And her popularity polls at about the level of a supervillian. She is clearly now America’s most despised mom. But Nadya Suleman’s real claim to fame is an unbelievably irresponsible use of her vagina. She seems unaware that if women were supposed to have eight babies at a time, they’d have eight breasts. Which might have made adult movie company Vivid up the offer when they offered her a million dollars to star in a porn film. But she turned it down saying “what will my 14 kids think when they grow up?” I think we can already pretty well guess what they are going to think. And then she said “I believe in love and romance. Not cheap thrills that belittle women.” Besides, she is too busy belittling parenthood. And of course, the single mother of 14 is referring to her love and romance with a baster, since none of her children were conceived through intercourse. For all we know, she may technically still be a virgin. Which is why it is pointless to even have any other nominees in this category.

The Homophobo Follies achievement award for most Homophobic political party goes to:

The Republicans. 

It seems like everyone is getting in on the act. We’ll start at the top- GOP Chairman Michael Steele. Despite the fact that while most Americans still oppose gay marriage, most do support civil unions. Only 2 in 10 believe that gays should have no legal rights, and as full 75 percent support civil unions.  When asked if the Republican party might want to get at least on board with that, he said ““No, no no. What would we do that for? What are you, crazy? No. Why would we backslide on a core, founding value of this country? I mean this isn’t something that you just kind of like, “Oh well, today I feel, you know, loosey-goosey on marriage.” He sees no difference between gay marriage and civil unions, and would have none of either.

Of course, this incensed the gay organization the Log Cabin Republicans, whose relationship to the party is similar to Charlie Brown’s relationship to Lucy whenever she holds a football.

Historian and commentator George Will reacted to the Obama speech by saying "I Don't Know When Men Started To Hug Each Other." This because Obama hugged another man. Sure, it might have been more notable if Obama had also kissed him and slipped him the tongue, and apparently George has never been to Europe where hugging between men is not just common but you’ll also see men kissing each other on the cheek  I am sure that Will does not hug men, but I also suspect that with that ridiculous bow-tie and Neanderthal mind-set, he is probably not getting hugs from a lot of women either.

And then there is Colorado state senator Scott Renfroe. Is there something in the water in Colorado? During a debate about a bill that would give health-care benefits to the partners of same-sex couples, he said “I’m not saying this (homosexuality) is the only sin that’s out there. We have murder. We have all sorts of sin. We have adultery. And we don’t make laws making those legal, and we would never think to make murder legal.” Um, Scott, there is actually kind of a difference between being a man and loving another man, and being a man and blowing the brains out of another man. Really, really different. And by the way- adultery is not a crime in Colorado. Lawmakers should have some idea of what the laws in their state are. His speech sounded more like something from a pulpit, including reading from Leviticus about how gays should be put to death. He seems clearly unaware that we have civil, not religious laws. He thinks are laws are simply based on the Bible. He does seem to support separation of church and state- separate out the state and just let the church run things. As long as its his church. 

In Utah, we have state senator Chris Buttars. Not the Buttars on South Park- that’s back in Colorado. That South Park Colorado Butters was sent to a program to convert himfrom being gay, even though he had no idea what gay was. And I would not be surprised if the Utah Buttars does not someday check himself into a similar program. See what you think based on some of his comments.

“They say, I’m born that way. There’s some truth to that, in that some people are born with an attraction to alcohol. One drink and you’re gone.”

Yeah, and some people date alcohol, and want to visit alcohol in the hospital when it gets sick, and they get fucked in the ass by alcohol. And Chris, are you quoting when you say “They say I’m born that way”. Normally, you d say “They say they are born that way.” It’s a strange way to phrase it, unless you mean it just as it sounds, and then that would explain a lot about you. One drink and you’re gone? Are you saying one penis in your mouth and you’re gone?

“They’re mean! They want to talk about being nice — they’re the meanest buggers I ever seen. “

Buttars, I think you mean the meanest buggerers. And maybe its not mean, they are just not that into you.

“And the gays are totally taken over by the radical side. You don’t see the gay out there saying let’s not do this. You see them marching around with signs and everything else.”

Yeah, Buttars,  I don’t see a lot of gays saying “Stop fighting for our civil rights. Just stop it, you brutes, you brutes”.

“What is the morals of a gay person? You can’t answer that. Because anything goes”

Apparently anything goes, including proper English. Its what are the morals, Buttars, not what is.

“And I believe that they’re, internally, they’re probably the greatest threat to America going down I know of.”

You are right Buttars, they do go down a lot. Every gay I know goes down. A lot. I don’t know that that is a threat to America. Most of the straight people I know go down a lot as well. Even the bisexuals. Everybody is going down. Except, maybe you, Buttars. That may be the problem.

News

Rush Limbaugh has decided to convene a “female summit” to try and figure out why women hate him, because a recent Public Policy Poll showed that only 37 percent of women hold a favorable opinion of him. Let’s see- a hate filled fat drug addicted sexist misogynist who continually makes anti-women remarks. Really tough to figure out. He should hold a summit to figure out why in the hell those 37 percent don’t loath him like the rest. I’m guessing low self-esteem and mental problems.

Under normal circumstances, it might be tough to find applicants for a job in a topless coffee shop. The Grand View Topless Coffee Shop is located in Vassalboro, Maine, and for the 10 open positions they received 150 applicants. Which I think exceeds the entire population of Vassalboro, Maine. The place serves coffee and doughnuts, and

The ever-ridiculous U.S. News and World Report had a new reader poll. Which female politician would run the best daycare center?  Because, you now, that is what women do. Sarah Palin was the winner, but I think that is primarily because the reader’s meant they wanted her to run a daycare center instead of what she is currently doing.

Speaking of Sarah Palin, which I hope someday soon we never have to do again, ever, it seems her favorite clothing store was forced to change its name. She mentioned the consignment store Out of the Closet during her campaign to show she bought used clothes just like the regular folks. We here in Los Angeles know Out of the Closet very well. It is a terrific chain of thrift shops in L.A. that raises money to help people with AIDS. And they won the trademark. And they sent the Anchorage store a cease and desist letter, to which they have agreed to comply.

Palin’s daughter Bristol appeared in an interview with Greta Van Susteren. She said: “But I think abstinence is, like — like, the — I don’t know how to put it — like, the main — everyone should be abstinent or whatever, but it’s not realistic at all.” She apparently took the whatever path.

The Republicans screamed when the Stimulus plan included family planning funding, as women no longer risking unwanted pregnancy and forcing the state to pay for these unwanted children could in no way be considered a stimulus or help the economy. Obama backed down. He just reinserted family planning into the 2010 budget. The provision is estimated to save the federal government $190 million over 10 years. Remind me again why Republicans keep calling themselves the fiscally responsible ones?

Hooker loving Lousisana Representative David Vitter is going to face an interesting challenge in his next election bid. It looks like porn star Stormy Daniels may take him on (and not take him on in the way his many hookers have taken him on. She may run against him, not rub against him for money. 

Entertainment

We finally have a U.S.  politician who can compare to the current French President Nicolas Sarkozy, whose wife’s nude pictures can easily be found on the Internet because of her career as a model and actress. This politician also has a hot model actress wife.  Her name is Jennifer Siebel Newson, and she is married to San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, a likely candidate for California Governor. She stars in the movie “The Trouble with Love”, which features some light bondage scenes and Jennifer in a threesome. And she is hot. I think he is starting to get my early support for governor.  

The Long Island Lolita who shot Mary Buttafuoco in the head , Amy Fisher, is coming to a strip club near you. She’ll be doing a cross country tour of Gentlemen’s clubs. She said “"I love to dance, and I'm an exhibitionist. I am going to take this road until my fans tell me, 'Dear, please put your clothes back on. You're too old.' But what if they say, dear, please put your clothes back on because you are creeping me out?

The Hollywood Madam, Heidi Fleiss, is giving up on her plans to open a brothel for women in Nevada. Not that many people thought she was all that serious in the first place. Now she says she wants to move into clean energy and green power because that is where the money is. I don’t know why you can’t combine the two. Use the heat from the beds to create steam to run a turbine. Or do what they are doing in Chicago. The Kinky Llama will deliver a sex toy even in the dead of night- and they do it by bicycle. I am wondering if they also offer solar powered vibrators. Which actually exist.

Shirley Jean Rickert died at 82. You might remember her from the Our Gang comedies. But if you do, I suspect you are not listening to this show, since you may not be up to speed on all these new-fangled contraptions called computers. Rickert did have another career after her appearance in the 1930s comedies. She was the long-haired stripper known as Gilda and her Crowning Glory.  She performed in burlesque theaters and nightclubs across the United States and Canada in the 1950s.

I’ve always liked Jude Law. A very talented actor, and turns out, a pretty gutsy one. He plays a transvestite supermodel named Minx in the upcoming movie Rage. And he looks good. Not just passing – he’s pretty.

Oprah went on about how much she liked Kate Winslet’s breasts, but Winslet told "Nightline" co-anchor Cynthia McFadden, "I've decided I am going to start loving my backside.” I wouldn’t mind loving her backside myself. But her point was about how women perceive their bodies. She said “And for my daughter I want to be able to say to her, I love this, I love this, look, my belly does this because I had you guys and this is what happens to breasts when you nurse two children." She tells young women that they need to stop reaching for the artificial standards of Hollywood perfection- even movie stars don’t really look that way in real life. Hear hear!