The Jeff Booth Show

Internet Radio with Pictures

Show Transcripts

January 18th , 2009

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Jeff@eroticuniversity.com

(818) 613-9248

It might be more appropriately called the global ping-pong rule, since it has been repealed and reinstated based on whether the current president is a Republican or Democrat. Now the Democrats are in charge, and Obama has repealed what is known as the Global Gag Rule- a presidential directive forbidding the dissemination of any information on abortion by any organization that gets money from the U.S. Government. It cut off funding for a lot of organizations that provided family planning support. What Obama did that was different was not repeal it on the anniversary of Roe. V Wade, which has traditionally become Gag Rule ping-pong day. It showed a little sensitivity by not making his decision overtly political.  

Disgraced pastor Ted Haggard is back in the news. He’s the guy that after having sex over several years with a male prostitute while also a meth head, left his church and went for a quickie cure of his homosexuality. That led to an HBO special to airing this Thursday about his time after leaving the church and becoming a former homosexual drug using hypocrite who strongly condemned homosexuality from the pulpit. The documentary about Haggard was made by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s daughter. Pelosi thinks that Haggard is probably not gay, but, as she puts it, somewhere in between- in other words, a dreaded male bisexual. She adds, “I know my gay friends hate when I say that”, referring to the dirty little not so secret prejudice in the gay community against bisexuality, an ironic prejudice reminiscent of Jews who hate blacks. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, as you’d think they’d be the last people in the world to be prejudiced against someone for their sexual identity, but it is remarkably widespread in the gay community. Of course Haggard is bisexual. He has sex with both men and women, which is why you can supposedly cure a bisexual, because they still have people they like to fuck, and why it is impossible for reparative therapy to cure a homosexual male, because they don’t actually like fucking women and you are basically asking them to give up sex with the people they are attracted to. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why that doesn’t work- although it does make the reparative therapy promoters a lot of money, and the funeral parlours who get to bury the reparative therapy patients who commit suicide also get to cash in, so its a financial win for somebody either way.  The documentary shows how far Haggard fell, and how the concept of Christian forgiveness in the fundamentalist community is more a matter of convenience than faith. Haggard became a pariah in the fundamentalist Christian community, even after he was supposedly cured.  Haggard said the church basically told him to "go to hell." Now his former church is turning the knife once again by revealing another long-term homosexual relationship Haggard had with one of his parishioners- coincidentally coinciding with the release of the HBO documentary about him. His former church paid the man off to pay for his counseling, I’m guessing to try and turn him hetero. Good luck with that. So Haggard goes from looking douchey to pathetic, and his former church- with him or without him, is still an insult to the concept of Christianity.

I have said time and time again that the people behind abstinence only education were clowns, but it turns out that some of them literally are clowns. Derek Dye is one of the so-called educators feeding at the annual $1.5 billion a year trough of abstinence only education money. He bills himself as a comedic juggler, and got his training not from a college or university as an educator but at Barnum and Bailey Clown College. Yes, he has a bachelor degree in fun arts, and an abstinence only educator certificate which cost him $50. You can’t see his act on YouTube anymore. He had it yanked off. I guess if you want to see his abstinence education skills, you had better poney up the money. His act, or excuse me, his educational presentation, is filled with pithy gems such as “Having sex before you are married is just like juggling machetes!” Which is true. It is exciting, and if you do it well, you’ll get a lot of praise and applause. And how is that a good example when Derek himself juggle machetes and gets applause at the climax. And the reason he can juggle machetes is that he got some education on how to do it properly and safely, I am assuming at clown college. But he believes in not  teaching anything more than abstinence about sex. His metaphors are almost more tortured than the students forced to watch his act, I mean educational presentation. He also says “Sex before marriage will destroy all of your life’s dreams!” Which is also true, assuming that your life’s dream is to die a virgin. And the chubby Derek dresses like a clown sans white face for his presentations, and as one writer noted, nothing made a friend of his want to have sex less than a clown. And I’m suspecting that dressing as a clown is an excellent way to help you hold on to your virginity.

I have long believed that divorce was a sad thing, but Anne Coulter as shown me that at least some good can come out of it. In her latest book, she claims that children whose parents divorce are "future strippers" later confirming that: "Yes, and they will be, and that is a fact." With a 50 percent divorce rate, that is a lot of strippers, which is fine as I like strippers. I am not sure if she means it also produces male strippers, which could be a problem because sadly they have far fewer venues to work in. Single moms also produce strippers, according to Coulter, but they also turn out to be rapists and murderers, which really takes the fun out of the whole idea of watching a stripper if they rape and murder you afterwards.  So I guess I really need to ask before the show if my stripper was raised by a single mom. I don’t want that lap dance to be my last.

It’s the last gasp for the Child Online Protection Act. Passed in 1998, it was never enacted due to legal challenges that it was unconstitutional. The Supreme Court just decided that it will not reconsider the law. Supposedly intended to protect children from online adult content, the real intent was to restrict adult content for everyone. And that is unconstitutional. And the Supreme Court agrees. COPA is dead, but it smelled really bad long before it passed.

Teenage girls send their naked pictures to boyfriends using their cell phones. What do you do about it? How about charging them with dissemination of child pornography, put them in jail, and have them register as sex offenders for the rest of their lives. Good call, Greensburg, Pennsylvania. Rounded up were six girls and boys who will now have their lives destroyed because of the combination of technology, hormones, and an insane District Attorney named John Peck, who is apparently getting revenge against all the teenagers who snubbed him and called him Pecker when he was a teenager.  And Pecker, I mean Peck, a picture a 17 year old girl sends to her boyfriend is not child pornography if her boyfriend looks at it. It might be if you look at it, but if it is simple nudity it may be protected by the Constitution, and if it sexually explicit, it should be protected from your snoopy little pervert eyes.

Mattel has eviscerated MGA Entertainment’s Bratz Dolls through a lawsuit that claimed that the creator of Bratss was working at mattle at the time he came up with the idea, and since anything that comes out of your brain when you work for Mattel belongs to Mattel, they won a huge lawsuit against the Bratz dolls. Part of the motivation for the suit was that the Bratz dolls were starting to kick Barbie’s ass. Not that Mattel would have ever put out the sexy and sassy Bratz dolls themselves. The irony is that Barbie was not based on an original design. And it seems that the designer of Barbie, one Jack Ryan, has been revealed in a new book called Toy Monster as an omnisexual with a voracious appetite who enjoyed hanging with big busted hookers and attending orgies. It is even claimed that he hit on the woman who provided the voice for the talking Barbie dolls. And where did the inspiration for his design come from? It is widely believed that Barbie is based on a German doll. So essentially, the design of Barbie was ripped off. But the doll itself was based on a German comic strip character named Lili, who was a prostitute who serviced German businessmen. The book also reveals that Ken was based on the founder of the son of Mattel, and the real Ken, as it turns out, is now a gay man. No surprise there. 

And in international news, England’s draconian extreme sex laws go into effect tomorrow. For the first time, possession of vaguely defined extreme porn will be a crime. As we have pointed out before, a lot of pictures in the British Museum are technically against the law. Not to be outdone, Scotland is looking at enacting even tougher laws. Under the new law, possession of a clip of the rape scene in Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange could get you put in jail. Having the entire movie is fine. In early debate on the measure, it was estimated that some 80 per cent of extreme porn emanated from sites operating perfectly legally in the US. So England is going to be magnitudes more insane about adult content than those of us here in the U.S.?  It gives the police extreme powers to monitor your Internet usage. Some have even pointed out that individuals could be prosecuted if they visited a site that had so-called extreme images, even if all of the images were not extreme and even if no images were found on the computer. There is already precedence for this in British law. All they might have to prove is that you are the owner of a computer that visited the site. And having encrypted files that you don’t release to the police can be as serious a crime as having extreme pornography. Under this new British law, they are creating a scarier world than that envisioned by Kubrick in A Clockwork Orange.